Russel’s ABBA Cover Letter

As the Mars Comedy Martians slowly execute our plans for world domination, we still need to pay the bills. To pay the bills we need money. To get the money, we need to rule all of mankind or get a job. Here is were the plot thickens. There has been a job that has been posted on several occasions. Each of those occasions, I have applied as instructed. The first time, I interviewed and was left waiting for a phone call that never came. I felt like that high school girl who waits by the phone, hoping that “Jonny Popular Hunk” would call and ask her to the prom. The second time, they emailed me back with a couple questions. Then, I can only guess, they realized that I was the same person they interviewed and never heard from them. Today, I see a post for the SAME position with the SAME company. I asked my friends and family if I should apply again to get that third and final strike out. Maybe this time, they might take notice. Then again, they might just think I am desperate. Everyone agrees that I should apply again, so that is what I do. But, this time, I wanted them to know that I was applying for the job a third time. I also decided that my cover letter needed a little more pizzaz! I could think of nothing that oozes with “PIZZAZ” more than the band, ABBA. Here is the cover letter I sent to the company:

Hello,

this is the third time you are going to find me. But, I won’t feel blue, like I always do. Because the job I really want is with you. So, if you change your mind, I’m the first in line. I’m still free. Take a chance on me. If you need me, let me know; I’m going to be around. If you need a Social Media person, I won’t let you down. If you need me on the phone when a Twitter bird is shown, I’m still free. Take a chance on me. I am going to do my very best and that is no lie. If you put me to the test. If you let me try. Take a chance on me.

And now, I wait by the phone with my prom dress on and hope that “Jonny Jobby-Job” calls. He is sooo dreamy.

Russel

MarsComedy
About MarsComedy 235 Articles
Guys With Issues is a comedy podcast based in Honolulu, Hawaii. Three comedians chat in a round table style forum and discuss current events, various issues, and comedic segments with a number of celebrity guests stopping in for a visit.

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