Replacement Referees

Replacement Referees

Well, you’ve probably been hearing a lot about the NFL replacement referees in current events, right?  Here’s the skinny,  NFL referees are on strike because they want a better contract.  As time goes on and cost of living goes up of course we need to ask for more money from our employers to pay for our lifestyle.  Well, the NFL owners don’t want to pay more money and feel that the referees are just like the cheerleaders, not important to the game.  Their assessment not mines, if it was up to me I’d have the cheerleader locker room interview after every game.  Of course in the shower, too.  Anyways…

The NFL doesn’t want to give the referees a raise and are settling for replacement refs, some who have only been refereeing high school games.  Meaning, these referees haven’t seen the game speed or size or anything resembling the NFL game.  And lately they’ve been, well,  fu@#ing up.

What do we do with these replacement refs?  Or as I like to call them the NFL player’s foster parents.  Let’s face it, they’re there and we can’t do anything about them.  Did you guys notice how I used “they’re” and “there” correctly? Anyways…  I don’t think we should blame these refs because they weren’t trained to do THIS particular job.  It’s like taking everyone from McDonalds and putting them into Chef Ramsey’s Hell’s Kitchen and expecting them to do well.

The NFL, or as I like to call them family court, has ordered the players to live in care of foster parents or go to jail.  Let’s face it, a lot of these players will end up in jail anyways. Remember how we used to bitch about the referees in the past?  “Kill the zebra”, “The referee is blind”, and/or “I hate mommy”.  Wait, umm… Oh yeah, remember what happened to these foster kids?

I bet you miss the referees now!  Well, maybe you shouldn’t have wished for your parents to go away, I mean referees.  Yeah, referees, I mean referees.  Maybe they would still be here to help you enjoy a fairly judge game of football every Sunday, Monday, and apparently now Thursday.  Wow, that’s a lot of football.  I think the bible said something about evil being all around us when the end of days comes. But, guess what the NFL doesn’t care about how you feel about the game. As long as you’re still watching the evil, because really it does come down to money.

The worst part about all of this is not you the people watching the games but the players, the NFL players who have lost their way.  They are now resorting to violence, drugs, and spousal abuse.  That’s right, NOW.  Just go with me on this one, it’ll help this blog.  What do we do about these foster kids?  You can’t have football without referees and NFL players playing a game on the honor system.  Scary, not as scary as Mommie Dearest with wire hangers. I’m glad Steve Sabol, God rest his soul, isn’t here to see the NFL like this.

Maybe if the NFL saw the game the way we see it, or the way Steve Sabol loved it. They would honor the NFL Shield and respect the game the way every red, white, and blue blooded American respects it. And it doesn’t matter if you’re a Niner, a Raider, a Steeler, or a Cowboy because we were all part of the NFL team. We all want the referees back, because if our team loses it’s going to be because the other team was better that Sunday not because of some old guy in a footlocker knock off uniform fu@#ked up a call. Can you imagine if we had replacement refs at other jobs?

Maybe next time you’re at a game, what ever game it is, and you see a referee that makes a call that isn’t in the favor or your team.  Remember, it could be worse.  You could have foster parents with Wire Hangers.

About MarsComedy 235 Articles
Guys With Issues is a comedy podcast based in Honolulu, Hawaii. Three comedians chat in a round table style forum and discuss current events, various issues, and comedic segments with a number of celebrity guests stopping in for a visit.

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