Maria Sharapova… Songs of Love.

“It’s time for us to drive excessive grunting out of the game for future generations,”

– WTA chairman and chief executive Stacey Allaster.

“If they ban women in tennis from grunting and screaming, I’m not watching anymore. That’s like watching porn with the volume off, looks good but just not as exciting.”

Read my thoughts.

How can they ban women from grunting in Tennis? What are the people in the WTA thinking? Aren’t they concerned about ratings? In Karate, they do what is called a “kiai” which is like a battle cry. It brings out your inner strength in what ever physical move you are doing that may require some extra strength.

Sounds like a karate strength deodorant…

Try our new Extra Strength KIAI!! Guaranteed to kick the s#!t out of stink and leave you feeling like the s#!t. KIAI!!

Where was I? Oh yeah, moaning in front of thousands of people…

What is wrong with Serena, Sharapova, and Venus screaming every time they hit the ball as hard as they can? Some people use steroids and some use orgasmic screams. In fact, I think that’s what we need more of; women moaning in public. Can you imagine how awesome McDonalds drive thru would be if they moaned your order back at you? I can see it now.

McDonalds cashier: Bah dah pah pah ooooooh..!! Care for a Big Mac?

James Mane: You damn right and let that secret sauce drip down your chin bitch.

…and scene.

Honestly though, I don’t see what the problem is with allowing these women to scream their guts out. In fact, I think it should be encouraged in all women sports. Women and Sports are two of my favorite things, but put those two words together; not so favorite. I think the problem is the people in the stands at a tennis match are too quiet. I mean how many times can you see football players mouthing bad words to each other. Hehehe, “football players mouthing“. It’s okay for football players and basketball players to cuss each other out because the public can’t hear them.

The WTA shouldn’t ban women from grunting and screaming, what they should do is strike up the marching band and start selling those foam number one fingers and let these women in sports play ball. In fact let the women have their own bands. Not to be racist or anything, but I bet the Williams sisters have the funkier bands. Service…

M.A.R.S. Bitches!!

About MarsComedy 235 Articles
Guys With Issues is a comedy podcast based in Honolulu, Hawaii. Three comedians chat in a round table style forum and discuss current events, various issues, and comedic segments with a number of celebrity guests stopping in for a visit.

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